


When Did My Life Turn Out to be a S.O.L. Anime???

by SesuRescue (Kigachan)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cloaca, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Dates, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Pining, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, faint traces of Alphyne, way too many nerd references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 11:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15023261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kigachan/pseuds/SesuRescue
Summary: Alphys runs into the king at the grocery store, and through a series of events, they start dating.





	When Did My Life Turn Out to be a S.O.L. Anime???

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this for Undertail Secret Santa for the-desk-of-sin! I really hope you enjoy it; I had so much fun writing it!

Alphys’s flip-flops slapped loudly against the pavement as she quickly clamored down the sidewalk. Each step elicited a series of wheezing inhales and stuttered exhales, and her pale, yellow scales flushed more of a splotchy reddish-brown color from exertion. She hated this, and she really, really hated rushing anywhere, but if she didn’t make it to the store soon she could kiss any hopes of having a decent dinner tonight goodbye.

Today had been a Bad day for Alphys, one in a string of Very Bad days to make up a Terrible week, and she had enough of those to possibly make a calendar filled with Very Terrible weeks. She decided to call it a Misfortune year; it seemed very fitting.

Her alarm hadn't gone off that morning, so she had to sprint out of the house to make her train on time. In her haste to leave she forgot her lunch on the countertop, and to add insult to injury she also left her work shoes at the door. At least she miraculously remembered to wear her sparkly flip-flops instead of no footwear at all, but she still got reamed out for it by her boss.

Once she finally made it to her lunch break she found the options were slim in the vending machine so she had to manage with a singular cheese stick and a bag of chips, the latter of which she had dropped on the floor just minutes after opening. Thank god for the five-second rule.

Shortly after that her experiments had taken a nosedive when the first set of quality checks failed, and she had to stay late to get her work in some sort of stable condition before she left since _who knows_ what the night staff would do once she was gone. Upon leaving the lab she realized that she had forgotten to go grocery shopping _again_ and if she didn't go somewhere today to find something to eat she'd have to resort to eating her possibly contaminated countertop lunch, which was a risk she decided not to take. Luckily, there was an open shop very close to her lab, so she quickly hurried there, intending on buying only the essentials to get her through the rest of the week, AKA a shit ton of ramen.

Well, it wasn't like her life hadn't been more or less the same depressing cycle since they left the Underground. No, maybe even before then. Really it’s been a shit storm ever since she became the Royal Scientist. She had been barely qualified for that and god did it show with her shoddy handling of the amalgamate mess, and then the whole human fiasco didn’t really help things. Her shining beacon while living down there had been Undyne, the captain of the Royal Guard. They had gotten along really well and it felt like the two of them had some good chemistry but, well she managed to fuck that up pretty badly, didn’t she?

...She should really focus on anything else right now, like food. Yeah, food, gotta get that ramen so she won’t starve, although…

Um. Anyway. At least it was Friday?

The door gave a cheerful ding as she crossed the threshold into the store, and she picked up a small shopping basket from the front. Now then, where the heck was the noodles?

Alphys quickly made her way through the cashier area with her head held down, hoping that no one would notice her and ask her if she needed help. She usually did pretty well in that regard, but with the way her luck was going today who knows what could happen?

Once she made it through the perilous battlefield of overworked and underpaid retail workers, she stopped and craned her head up to look at the aisle signs. Her eyes flickered behind her large rimmed glasses as she searched for mentions of ‘pasta’, ‘noodles’, or even ‘Asian cuisine’, but when none of those jumped out at her she was stumped. This store was bigger than what she was used to, and it seemed like humans tended to organize each one differently, so it was possible that what she was looking for was further in the back.

Clutching her basket tighter in her hand, Alphys took in a deep breath before diving into the world of human food and produce.

_BLIP!_

Or, at least she would’ve if her phone hadn't gone off after a few steps. Alphys shuffled into an aisle to her right and pulled out her phone, intent to see what was new on Undernet. Could it have been someone commenting on her recent review of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie: Recharged? She had put her all into typing up a good thought-piece and thought she made some really good points as to why the reboot was great and deserved all the attention it received, and then even better points over the really big concerns she had over the fans. Basically, she ranted about how they bashed the original run of the anime because it wasn't the ‘proper’ ending and, sure it had to go a little off the cuff since the source material hadn’t been done when it came out, BUT that didn’t mean it was awful! The writers tried their best and did pretty damn good!

Alphys wouldn’t be a good fan if she didn’t at least TRY to fight for their efforts, but since she posted her review last week it hadn’t received any replies. Maybe this was someone who finally found it?!

Her face fell as she stared at a picture of Undyne on her media feed, clad in her usual training gear and lifting up some sort of large exercise machinery in a gym. Her face was radiant as usual, her big toothy grin shining at the camera while a few humans stood in the background with terrified looks. The caption underneath the picture read: **NGYAHHHH! BRING ON THE NEXT CHALLENGE!**

Alphys stared at her phone for a few seconds before scrolling up with a sigh. She told herself that it would be easier if she had just unsubscribed from Undyne’s updates so she wouldn't get the notifications, but every time she went to do it her claws shook and her breath caught in her throat. She really had to work on getting over this crush of hers; there were other fish in the sea. However, would she be able to find a fish as strong, and sexy, and breathtaking?

Intent on distracting herself from her lingering thoughts she kept scrolling through her news feed, pausing when a picture of Papyrus came up on her screen. He and the human, Frisk, were both dressed in matching crop-tops and holding impressively large cones of varying ice cream flavors piled on top of each other haphazardly. Frisk had their cone at an arm's length, determination written all over their face as they struggled to keep it steady, while Papyrus had failed in that regard and was in the process of spilling the entire thing when the picture was taken. Underneath was a caption that could have only been written by Sans: **paps should’ve gotten an ice cream** **_float_ ** **instead.**  

Alphys, caught off by the expertly crafted pun, let out a loud snort of laughter.

A gentle voice called out from somewhere close by. “Dr. Alphys? Is that you?”

“K-k-k-king Asgore?!” Alphys practically screamed when she recognized the familiar tones of her previous employer and ruler of monsterkind, and as she quickly looked around for the source of the voice her fears were confirmed. King Asgore, even in his best efforts to stoop low and keep himself as small as possible, nearly towered over the shelves in the aisle. Despite his apparent discomfort he still had a serene smile on his face when he regarded Alphys. He was dressed in a soft-looking sweater and shorts that showed off his furry calves, indicating to Alphys that this was a regular excursion for him instead of official business (though she guessed she should've inferred that from the fact that they were in the grocery store; just another shining example of her inadequacies).

She let out a soft sigh as her eyes wandered over his frame, quickly honing in on his well-maintained beard and the faint impression of his muscled arms beneath his sweater. Gosh, it had been a long time since she thought about her massive crush on him, even though it was that feeling that basically kept her going in her royal scientist role. The feeling had faded when she shifted her gaze to Undyne, but since that particular door closed there was nothing preventing her from reliving the many nights alone in her lab fantasizing about the King, or as she liked to call him: ‘ _Mr. Dreamy’._

A small cough brought her back to the present and her cheeks reddened when she realized that she zoned out. “What are--uh, what are you doing he-here?” She blurted out a little louder than normal.

The King either didn't notice or politely ignored the strangeness as he revealed a small greeting card in his paw. “There's a nice Vulkin couple on Smith Way that just had their first child recently. I wanted to visit and say ‘congratulations!’ but, well I don't quite fit in their house, so I decided to get a greeting card instead. Would you like to see it?”

Alphys nodded frantically and shuffled closer to take a look at the card. It was simple and to the point, with ‘Congratulation on your baby born’ written across the top in bright letters. Underneath, there was a brightly colored cartoon image of a baby bird emerging from a shell. She thought it was a little odd giving a card like this to a pair of mini volcano monsters, but it wasn't like the card industry had started catering to its monster customers yet. This was probably the best they were going to get for a while. “I-I-I think it's lovely, your, um, your Majesty.”

“Please please, I'm not the king anymore, call me Asgore.”

Alphys recoiled slightly; she couldn’t just call him by his actual name! It was--well, it was improper! What was next, calling the queen by her actual name? God, even thinking about it made the underside of Alphys’s scales itch.

She opened her mouth to argue, but then she caught the hopeful look in his eyes and decided against it. “Okay, your Ma--I-I-I mean, As...gore?” Alphys mentally facepalmed.

Despite her questionable success, Asgore looked pleased and he visibly relaxed. “That’s a good start,” he chuckled, the sound a rumbling timbre that sent a slight shiver through Alphys’s body. “What are you shopping for, if I may ask?”

Shopping? How did he know she was...oh, duh: she had the shopping basket in her arm! “I, um, I’m shopping for noodles. I-I can’t seem to find them.”

“Do you mind if I come along with you? I’ve been told that I’m pretty handy in helping to find things in a store.”

“Sure??”

Sweat gathered in small droplets on Alphys’s forehead as she walked out of the aisle, hazarding a quick look up at her new shopping companion. Luckily, Asgore’s focus was elsewhere, swiveling his head in multiple directions down the aisles. After a few seconds, he pointed a paw to the right. “I believe what we’re looking for is that way.”

She nodded and headed off in the direction Asgore indicated. He fell into step easily beside her, adjusting his gait so that they could walk side-by-side, much to Alphys’s confusion. Why would ~~the _King_~~ Asgore want to walk beside her? Shouldn’t she be walking behind him? The more she thought about it, the more it didn’t make any sense. He had no reason to stick close to her, especially with all of the stress she put him through during their time in the Underground. The only thing she managed to do decently was creating Mettaton, but other than that she messed up on everything else.  

Before her mind could pull her further into her turbulent thoughts, Asgore spoke up. “So Doctor, how are you?”

“Wa-wait, I thought we, um, we weren’t using our old titles, right?”

Asgore raised an eyebrow. “Well, you are still a doctor.”

Damn, he had her there. “I-in theory, yes. I--um--I’m alright.” A lie, but he didn’t need to know that. The last thing she needed was Asgore’s pity on her, especially since it seemed her old feelings for him weren't leaving anytime soon.

“That’s good to hear. How about your job on the surface? You’re working in a pretty prestigious lab if I recall correctly?”

“It’s just, um, a regular lab,” Alphys said, failing to fight the blush that blossomed on her cheeks.

“Nonsense, you had to work quite hard to get accepted there.”

“Ahhh, I guess. We-well it’s, you know--” terrible, awful, I hate my job, hate my life, every day I think about setting the place on fire and cutting my losses-- “manageable.”

Asgore hummed. “Well, I’m pleased to hear things are going well for you on the surface. You, and the rest of the monsters, of course.”

“What a-about you?” Alphys asked. While she had been able to track the status of most the monsters close to her through Undernet, Asgore was an elusive outlier, mostly attributing to the fact that he didn’t use social media. Even Toriel managed to figure out the basics of chatting online, though it was for the sole benefit of posting puns and cooking recipes.

With all the hustle and bustle it was easy to forget about their king and how he was doing, and immediately Alphys felt a little bad about it.

Asgore scratched the back of his head. “I’m doing as well as expected,” He said with finality, and while Alphys expected him to elaborate more it seemed that he was done. She went to inquire further, but Asgore stopped abruptly stopped, glancing into a nearby aisle. “ I believe that this is the section we’re looking for. Noodles, was it?”

Alphys looked up at the sign above the aisle, confirming that they were in the right place. “Y-yeah, this is it.” She quickly went in and grabbed a few sealed packets of the more expensive ramen and tossed them into her basket, and then threw in a few more just in case. She couldn’t recall trying this brand of ramen before, maybe she could sample a few of them tonight during her nightly anime binge? Oh, oh, and she could use her chopsticks so it felt more authentic! Man, the more she thought about it the more excited she got, especially after remembering that the anime she chose to watch had very favorable reviews. Was there a chance she would stay up all night binging it? Gosh, maybe she needed more ramen…

It dawned on her with astounding clarity that she wasn’t by herself as usual, and with an undignified squeak, she turned around, horrified. Kind, brown eyes met her in curiosity as Asgore glanced at her haul, and somehow his gaze made her face burn twice as hot. “OH! Gosh I, like, uh, I forgot, um, that you were there!” She babbled, nearly dropping her basket in her haste to hide it behind her back. “I-I’m running low on these and I usually like to buy in bulk and they don’t have this flavor where I usually shop so I don’t want to love it only to not be able to find it again _andIjustdon’twantyoutothinkI’mafatassthatspendsherwholenighteatingand…_ and I…” Alphys took a deep breath to gather herself, averting her eyes to avoid looking directly at Asgore. Why did this happen every time she opened her mouth?

“I think--” Asgore reached over her and picked up a ramen bowl-- “This particular brand is my favorite.” He held out the bowl for Alphys, who took it with shaky hands.

“Th-thank you.” She placed the container into the basket behind her before looking back up at him. Now what? “Um…”

“I think that perhaps I should hurry along so that I can deliver this at a reasonable hour.”

“O-oh, right, the card,” Alphys nodded. “Well, it was, er, it was good seeing you, Asgore. Th-thanks for helping me.”

“You’re quite welcome Dr. Alphys, and it was good seeing you, too. Actually, I would love to meet with you again to catch up more.”

Alphys froze, looking up at Asgore with wide eyes. Meet? Together? Just the two of them? “Wh-what? Why?” She croaked out.

“Well…” Asgore put a hand to his chin in thought. “I feel like you and I were rather close in the Underground.”

“Y-you think so? I mean, er, yes, I f-feel the same, of course! You, like, were one of th-the few monsters I, er, I talked to.” _Because you were the only one around_ , Alphys wanted to add on but felt like it would ruin the moment. Besides, now she could pretend that Asgore meant it in a more romantic fashion.

“I think because we spent so much time together, I find myself wondering how you are. Maybe we could have tea together, like old times?”

“I…” Alphys trailed off as her brain came up blank. What the hell were you supposed to do when your crush admitted to thinking about you and wanted to hang out?! She tapped her claws together nervously, thinking about how to go about this. Well, what would Mettaton do?

He would completely overact and swoon into Asgore’s arms, she decided rather quickly. Okay, Mettaton was a bad example for this. What about…

“You could decline if you want to; I won’t take it to heart,” Asgore interrupted quietly.

“NO WAIT!” Alphys cried, taking a small step forward. “I-I WANT TO MEET UP!”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to if--”

“I want to, promise! I’ve missed our tea dates!”

Asgore searched her face for any signs of doubt, smiling in relief when he didn’t find any. “Oh, I’m glad you enjoyed them as much as I did. Do you have any preference on a day?”

“Let’s meet tomorrow!” Alphys said. “The sooner, the better, right?”

“Oh, I wasn't expecting you to be ready to meet so soon, but if it’s fine with you I think tomorrow is perfect. It’s supposed to be a lovely day: perfect for enjoying the company of another. You remember where I live?”

The two of them confirmed the rest of the details about their rendezvous, deciding on noon as a good time for Alphys to meet Asgore at his home for tea. When they were done Asgore left, waving once more at Alphys before rounding the corner.

Once she was sure he was gone, Alphys let out a deep sigh as she finally relaxed. She was so, so on top of things! She managed to suggest something without falling all over herself every few words, and it was awesome! And now she had a date!

…Oh gosh, she had a date.

Alphys hurried home after buying her groceries, making sure to step over her forgotten shoes in the doorway. After putting her bag of ramen on the table and tossing out the leftover lunch on the counter, she quickly fired up her water heater before collapsing in her computer chair. It had been a long day, but finally she could relax, watch anime, and definitely not stress over the date (should she call it that? Asgore called it more of ‘meeting’ but a girl could dream, couldn't she?) she had tomorrow.

Since it took the heater a few minutes to warm up the water, Alphys turned on her computer. She navigated to the totally legit streaming site that someone on the internet had given her and searched the database for tonight’s anime: Mako Magica; Grand Carnival.

For some reason, this anime was ranked much higher than her ultra favorite anime, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, and at least five times as popular, so it was her civic duty to check it out. If it wasn't up to her golden standards, well then she'd just leave it a scathing review and shit on it relentlessly for the rest of her life.

Once the ramen was done, her pajamas on, and Undernet feed updated, she clicked play and watched through the first episode.

One episode quickly turned into two as the anime started to lay down the framework for the background and the main struggle of the main character, a shark named Mako, as she wrestled with the idea of becoming part of the traveling circus. Honestly, to Alphys it was all old hat; sure having a non-human main character was a bit peculiar, but the rest of the anime seemed like it had all the typical magical girl tropes. She posted her initial reactions on Undernet and, with the looming tea date in mind, Alphys was debating the prospect of sleeping early, but she couldn’t just leave the anime unfinished!

 _Just one more episode,_ she told herself.

Several hours later Alphys leaned back into her chair, hands over her mouth as the credits for the final episode played. That was...AMAZING! She pulled her phone out from under the several layers of ramen bowls and snacks littered on her desk, intent on compiling a review on what she thought. Her claws danced across the keys as she typed, stuttering here and there as she paused to remember a certain plot point and particularly interesting trope that the show utilized.

When she was done, Alphys posted her review to Undernet and put her phone down, only for it to buzz with a notification as soon as it touched the table. She checked her phone and was surprised to see CoolSkeleton95 had liked it within seconds of her posting. What was he doing up at--Alphys glanced at her computer’s clock--three in the morning?! What was she doing up at this hour? She had to be at Asgore’s by noon!  

She quickly picked up and carried her trash to the kitchen, nearly avoiding a major spill with a pretty impressive catch, if she did say so herself. Almost as good as Mako catching Akami in the last episode with just her front fins! Oh gosh, she didn’t even think to mention that in her review! How could she forget one of THE BEST parts?!

Despite the fact that she just cleaned up her desk, she still managed to lose her phone, and after a good few minutes of searching finally found it dangling off the edge of the couch cushions. Newly acquired phone in hand, Alphys flopped down on the couch with a soft grunt. She typed up a short edit to her review to include her thoughts before tucking it away into her pocket and shuffling into her bed. Nestling into her sheets, Alphys wrapped her arms around her pillow and closed her eyes, intent on going to sleep.

If she dozed off now, she could catch a good six hours of sleep before she had to get up and get ready for the... _date._ God she really needed to stop doing that; it was not a date! It was just a meeting between a girl and her former employer, a work gathering, except it wasn’t about work at all and it was just the two of them. Definitely not a date.

Hm. Alphys flipped onto her back with a huff, hugging her pillow close to her as she stared at the ceiling.

There was nothing wrong with...theorizing what would happen if it were a date, right?

If it had been a date, Alphys bet that Asgore would be a perfect gentleman towards her. He would’ve pulled out all the stops like kissing her hand when she came in and pulling out the chair out for her; it totally fit into her headcanons for him. She would probably be as clumsy and nervous as usual, but since this was _her_ daydream she decided to imagine herself as a strong, confident Alphys. She would be able to flirt masterfully with Asgore, flustering him to no end as she tossed out innuendo after innuendo.

When they were done eating, Asgore definitely would’ve taken her out on a nice, moonlit walk near the ocean (their town was about several hours out from the nearest ocean but again, _her daydream_ ), and while she was preoccupied with looking out at the water like a proper anime heroine, Asgore would take the chance and take her hand in his. She would gasp and look back at him with her wide, shojo eyes, and then he would lean in real close and…

Alphys felt her cheeks flare up as she hid her face in her pillow, resisting the urge to squeal. She wanted it! She wanted to date Asgore so bad! She wasn’t entirely sure how she was going to manage to ask him, and she didn’t even know if he liked her back yet, but she was going to do it.

With the fuzzy beginnings of a plan loosely sketched out in her thoughts, Alphys finally fell asleep.

~~~~~

After a few fitful hours of tossing and turning Alphys awoke, and Operation: Charm the Pants off Asgore began. The first step to every successful plan was having an achievable goal, which for Alphys was easy enough: it was in the title. Check! The second step was actually having a plan, and that was the part she struggled with currently. How was she actually supposed to do this?

Deciding that maybe a hot shower might be beneficial to her thought process, Alphys trudged into her bathroom and hopped in the shower. She stood under the water and sighed happily as the warmth seeped into her scales. Hot showers were her favorite, and luckily she had time to enjoy it today. After quickly washing her body, she stared at the linoleum tiles of her bathroom wall and waited for the ideas to flow through for her plan.

It would’ve been easy enough to actually just tell Asgore outright how she felt, but that was out of her character. Not only was her current level of self-confidence too low to do that, everyone knows that a true anime heroine would drop confusing, cryptic hints for her crush. Then, only after about fifteen episodes of increasing sexual tension would she actually let her feelings be known through a dramatic kiss or a tearful parting. Unless this was one of those shows that never actually had the main characters get together. She hated those so much; why string along the audience for so long ONLY to never actually resolve the tension? It didn’t make any sense!

In any case, Alphys didn’t have the patience for fifteen episodes worth of anime buildup to try and win Asgore’s heart. If she was going to do this, it had to be quick before she lost her nerve.

Okay, she could wear a nice dress, but not too nice; she needed to be able to brush it off as a cute, casual outfit if Asgore questioned it. Then, she could try some innocent flirting? She never quite had the chance to use the techniques she had read about in person, but it shouldn’t be too hard, right? It would be just like one of her science experiments, only with the King as the subject.

She was going to mess this up for sure, wasn’t she?

Alphys dried off and brushed her teeth before heading off to her bedroom. She opened the closet and peered in, examining the contents to find an appropriate outfit. Since lab coats ended up being the bulk of what she wore from day to day, she only had a small section of clothing to actually consider, which both eased her mind and worried her terribly.

She narrowed her choices down to two different outfits, and after a bit of deliberation chose her black and white polka-dot dress. She thought she looked pretty damn good in it, and there was no doubt in her mind that Asgore would like it. After slipping on the dress and shoving all of the necessities in a small handbag, Alphys left and headed for Asgore’s house.

After a short walk to the main monster suburban areas, Alphys spotted what could only be the right place, based on the immaculate cut lawn and elaborate animal-shaped hedges. She took a deep breath before following the wooden path from the sidewalk to the house and knocking on the door. She heard footsteps approach the door before the knob turned and it opened, revealing Asgore. “Dr. Alphys, it’s good to see you again!” He rumbled happily. “You look very nice today.”

“O-oh, thank you!” Alphys replied, a light blush rising to her cheeks as she fiddled with the bottom of her dress sheepishly. Her intuition was right, she guessed. She let her gaze wander from Asgore’s face to the rest of him, immediately noticing that his attire was pretty close to what he normally wore: a floral t-shirt, cargo shorts, and an unholy combination of socks and sandals. She…should still compliment him, right? “I think, er, that you look nice as well.”

Asgore’s face fell in surprise, but after a second he broke out into laughter. “I apologize; I’ve never had anyone actually compliment me on this,” he explained, and Alphys felt her unease ebb away. “Please, come in.”

The two of them walked inside, Alphys trailing behind as Asgore led her through the house. She glanced around curiously as they passed through different rooms, and was surprised to see everything neat and orderly. Looks like not everyone was a slob like her, huh?

When they reached the kitchen, Asgore gestured towards the door to the backyard. “I thought that we could have tea outside if the temperature is pleasing to you?”

Alphys didn’t really like sitting outside, or being outside, or outside in general, but for Asgore she was sure that she could handle an hour or two out. “Yes! I-it’s perfect, definitely nice for uh--tea drinking and...things?” Smooth. Asgore smiled all the same, opening the door and allowing Alphys to exit first.

Like the front, Asgore’s backyard was nice and flat, with looming foliage gracing the perimeter. She was surprised to see that, unlike the hedges in the front, most of the ones here weren’t shaped into anything in particular, except for--”Is that Papyrus?!” She asked incredulously, pointing at a large shrub in the back that looked eerily like the tall, eccentric skeleton.

Asgore laughed. “He was rather adamant that my yard would not be complete without it. What do you think?”

“It’s, um, amazing! Y-you’re very talented!”

“Thank you.” Asgore blushed, and Alphys felt her SOUL thump a little harder in her chest. She had to make that happen more often!

Asgore led her to a small table in the shade, complete with a tea set and a small plate of cookies. She sat down in one of the two chairs and placed her handbag on the ground. When Asgore took the one opposite her she felt her anxiety began to skyrocket.

 _Chill out, Alphys. Just breathe and try not to fuck everything up_ , she scolded herself, but her hands continued to shake in her lap regardless. It was just her and Asgore, alone, in a semi-secluded place on what was definitely not a date. Despite that, she couldn’t stop her fantasies from running through her mind of Asgore proclaiming his love for her and smooching her soundlessly. What would it feel like to kiss someone with a beard? Was it was soft as she dreamed it would be? Or maybe it was slightly more rough?

“Would you like some tea?”

Alphys directed her attention back to Asgore, who had been in the middle of setting up their table. He had the teapot in his large paws with the spout poised over the rim of Alphys’s cup. His eyes met hers expectantly, and she realized that he was waiting for her to speak up. “Oh! I--yes, please.”

She watched as Asgore filled the cup with tea, sniffing slightly when a vibrant aroma reached her nostrils. It smelled strongly of flowers, which Alphys had become accustomed to due to being in Asgore’s presence frequently. There was something about it though…

“Did you, er, change your tea recipe lately?” She asked.

Asgore’s face broke out into a large smile. “I did! The surface has so many interesting species of flowers that I wanted to experiment with my recipes. This one is made from the very same ones that I have growing here in the backyard.”

Alphys turned to examine where he had indicated, surprised that she hadn’t noticed the flowers before he said anything. There were tons of them, colored in vibrant, red hues and cropping up in bunches from the ground along the fence, around the hedges, and even in hanging baskets on the side of the house. “Wow, that’s i-impressive.”

“It very tasty too; please, try it.”

Alphys nodded and picked up her cup, staring down into the same bright color that surrounded them. It sure smelled heavenly, and if Asgore said it was tasty then she’d take his word for it. She took a small sip, recoiling a little at the temperature. Of course, it was hot, baka!

Regardless, it was rather good, and she told Asgore so.

“Oh, I’m happy you like it. You know--” Asgore leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper-- “If you want to make your tea-time ‘epic’ as the kids say, you could dip one of the biscuits into the tea. It’s, what would you call it, life’s hack?”

Alphys gaped at Asgore in disbelief; she wasn’t sure where to even begin with this. Epic? Life’s Hack? Asgore was too precious!

Fighting her urge to burst into laughter, Alphys searched the table for the biscuits Asgore mentioned. Uh. She looked again in confusion. “Er...wh-where are they?”

“Pardon? What are you looking for?”

“The biscuits?”

“They’re right there.”

“Uh…”

“Oh, I’m so sorry; I didn’t take into consideration the fact that you might not be able to see them with your short stature!” Asgore apologized. He pushed the plate of cookies towards Alphys, picking up the teapot and moving it to the side. “Here you are.”

Um.

“These--what do you call these a-again?” Alphys asked, pointing to the plate.

“Biscuits!”

“That’s, um, a cookie.”

Asgore looked at her, and then at the plate of cookies. Realization dawned on his face immediately and let out a large bleat of laughter. “Oh dear, I forgot that I tend to use older names for things!” He explained through short, wheezing breaths.

Alphys watched the display with fascination. While she could remember a few instances of the king letting his emotions surface from his usually calm demeanor, she had never seen the King lose his composure like this before. Asgore’s frame shook as he dissolved into loud bleats and wheezes, and Alphys felt her SOUL swoon yet again. It was mesmerizing and quite infectious; before she knew it she was laughing along with him.

“S-s-sorry,” she wheezed, “y-your laughter is just--wow it’s so great!”

Asgore waved her off as he started to gain control of himself again. “Please, I’m nothing special.”

“W-what? No, you’re wrong. I think you’re pretty great a-a-and handsome and anyone would be lucky to have you!” Alphys replied, instantly covering her mouth in horror. Oh my god, she wasn’t supposed to say that! Don’t notice, please don’t notice! She quickly glanced at Asgore as she started to sweat. His face was flushed slightly, although she couldn’t tell if that was from laughing or from her words. He was silent, his mouth slightly parted as he searched her face.

“Uhhhh,” she said, trying to find a way to defuse the abrupt tense atmosphere. “Wh-when I said that I meant more, uh, meant more of like lucky in a, like ‘I won the lottery!’ lucky, and not the--wait, fuck, I-I-I mean--”

“Dr. Alphys--”

“I mean, sure yes, I admit it--I would l-like to be lucky enough to date you but I-I don’t even think that’s even possible because I-I mean, look at you, you’re just so gorgeous and I-I’m like this troll from the basement--”

“Dr. Alphys…”

“And I mean let’s just be honest, the good girl never ever gets the man of her dreams. Like, even in Mako Magica Sakana didn’t get the guy she wanted, and that was the _entire_ reason she gave up her freedom to become a magician! Sure, in the end, she managed to catch Koi--who was much better for her in the long run because Koi is twice the fish that guy was and liked her for who she was instead of, I dunno her looks or something? In any case--”

Alphys promptly stood up and slammed her hands against the table. Her glasses had become completely fogged over about halfway through her rant, but that didn’t matter; she was too determined to stop now! “In any case! I think you’re dreamy and I would kill for the chance to date you!” She screeched.

The backyard was silent save for the rustling of leaves as Alphys nearly bored a hole through Asgore with her stare. Her SOUL thumped hard in her chest as she caught her breath, surprised at herself. She did it; she finally did it! Wait...

A sense of dread crept upon her. She confessed; that was for sure. Wasn’t she supposed to woo him through her clever wit and flawless flirting? How could she not even follow her own plan on how to properly do this?! She had formulated it perfectly so that she would be able to toggle Asgore’s kiss scene but…

Was this going to be a bad end?

Asgore, despite everything that was happening, still wore a gentle smile on his face, although his fur had become much redder than before. She definitely embarrassed herself, and him in the process. Welp, time to exit stage right.

“W-well tea was, like, er, great. Thank y-y-you so much; I guess I’ll, uh, leave?” Alphys stuttered, quickly bending down to lift up her purse. She averted her eyes as she nervously went to push in her chair, and in her desperation to flee the scene didn’t even notice Asgore had moved until she ran face-first into his chest. “EEH?!”

Asgore immediately took a step back, holding his hands up so Alphys could see them. “Oh gosh, I didn’t mean to startle you, are you okay?”

“Y-yes...well, no. You must th-think that, like, I’m a weirdo or something.”

“Actually, I’m quite flattered,” Asgore admitted sheepishly. “I didn’t know that you thought of me so fondly.”

“Y-yeah?” Alphys fought her urge to squeal as Asgore bent down and took one of her hands into his.

“To be honest, Doctor.--well, no, just Alphys, I’ve had some feelings of a more romantic nature as of late. I must have always felt this way, but before it wasn’t proper in our work arrangements. However, now that we’re on the surface and not working together, I’d love to explore these feelings with you, if you were agreeable?

Alphys looked down at their hands with a blush, wondering why she never realized how big Asgore’s hands were. She always had been aware of their size difference; it was impossible to ignore. Every time she went to talk to him in the throne room they were at the same height when he was sitting. When he followed her to the lab in order to evaluate an experiment of hers she could always feel her hulking presence behind her. Now his paw had easily engulfed hers, and while the possibilities were slightly terrifying, she knew how gentle he was. How nice he was. And she knew her feelings, so there was really only one way she could answer.

“H-hell yeah!”

~~~~

The next couple of months went by in almost of a blur as the two of them began to date, and Alphys couldn’t have been happier. Of course, the first few days were difficult as they tried to figure out how to act around the other, and it took Asgore a solid week to actually refer to her by her name without the ‘doctor’ moniker attached to it, but soon they settled into something of a comfortable awkwardness. They met up every few days for tea as their busy schedules allowed and just talked about whatever was on their mind. Sometimes they would just chat about their week and what they worked on, other times they would talk about their friends and what they were up to (with an unspoken agreement to never mention certain individuals), and most recently, they would talk about the past.

Once they became more comfortable they began engaging in small acts of affection like hand-holding, cuddling, and chaste kisses, but they had yet to go any further than that. Alphys couldn’t admit to him that she was hungering for more, but each time they hung out together she could feel her control slipping, and she knew it would only be a matter of time until she messed up.

At least, for now, she decided to play things by ear; she could worry over those things later, and with that thought in mind she made the choice of inviting Asgore over for their latest date at her home. It had been a little last minute on her end but he had been excited when she told him her plans, and when the day arrived he was prompt at her apartment within five minutes of their agreed upon meeting time.

“So, you said that we’re going to watch the animes?”

Alphys fought her urge to facepalm. _Remember, he’s totally new to this. Be nice and gentle._ “Yes, I picked out an anime that I think you’ll like. I haven’t, er, haven’t seen it in a while but I remember liking it? Please, come in!”

She invited Asgore in and directed him to her couch before heading to her computer to set everything up. The anime she decided to show Asgore today was one of the first series that she had watched when she came to the surface. If she recalled correctly it was an innocent anime about two people falling in love, but honestly, she watched so much that she really couldn’t remember which series was which. Well, she’d just have to hope for the best.

She navigated to the streaming site and searched for the anime’s title and, after making sure her monitors were angled well enough for her and Asgore to see on the couch, hit play on the first episode and scrambled over to sit beside him.

“I’m sure that if you liked it, then I will like it as well,” He whispered happily, nuzzling the side of her head with his snout.

The first couple of episodes went by without too much fanfare. Even though it was a shorter series, Alphys found the plot to be a little...slow? Was it really this slow the first time she watched it? Despite her reservations, she was enjoying it as a whole; the visuals were beautiful and the fanservice was perfect, tasteful yet titillating enough to keep her intrigued.

She was a little worried about how Asgore would like the anime, but her fears were for naught. Asgore seemed to love it, happily remarking after every episode on the plot, the animation, and even the beverage choices of the characters in a particular scene.

They had watched through about half the series before deciding to take a quick break, and after they reconvened Alphys let the next episode play. She went to take her normal spot beside Asgore, but he pulled her into his lap instead.

“Is this okay?” Asgore asked, loosely wrapping his arms around her middle. “I’ve been wanting to cuddle you, but I didn’t want to push it if you didn’t want to.”

“Th-this is fine! I wanted, uh, wanted to cuddle too.”  Even though they cuddled fairly often, Alphys still felt her scales warm considerably where his body touched hers. God, she was such a pervert.

The episode started off innocently enough; the main characters, who had gotten together in the previous episode, were on their first date. It was awkward as the fictional couple tried to ignore the growing tension in the air, and Alphys could instantly feel the eerie parallels between them and her and Asgore.

As if reading her thoughts, Asgore piped up from behind her. “That feels familiar, huh?”

“Ahaha, a-a little bit, yeah.”

Alphys settled further into Asgore’s hold with a smile as they continued to watch. The plot of the episode continued on with the characters dancing around their feelings until finally, they kissed, much to Asgore’s glee.

“They did it, did you see? They kissed!” He pointed happily to the screen.

Alphys grinned up at Asgore, patting him on his leg with pride. “I saw! I-isn’t watching your OTP falling in love so, like, nice?”

“I don’t understand, but I agree!” Asgore tilted his head in confusion at the screen. “Oh, hold on, are they...”

Alphys looked back at the screen just in time to witness the characters furiously groping each other through their clothing. “AH! I-I--What’s happening! Should I, er, turn it off?!”

“Maybe we should wait; it’s possible that the episode will end before anything too raunchy happens, right?”

“Y-yeah…”

Unfortunately, not only did the episode keep going, the scene had devolved all the way into full-fledged sex, much to Alphys’s horror. She wasn’t sure what was worst; watching and listening to the characters in the throes of passion, or the fact that she could see herself getting off to it if she were by herself. In fact, she probably did back when she first watched it, which is why she remembered it so fondly.

After the longest five minutes of her life, the episode finally ended, dousing the apartment in an uncomfortable silence. Alphys covered her face in her hands in mortification, wondering how tight the fit was in her trash can. Why oh why didn’t she refresh herself on what happened in the anime before showing it to Asgore? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Uh, well that was…” Asgore trailed off, chuckling nervously.

Alphys lifted her head but refused to turn around. “I am so sorry, oh my god. I-I didn’t--I, um, completely forgot about that scene when I suggested this anime to you. I wasn’t trying to, like, suggest anything with it--”

“No, no, of course, I completely understand!”

“--I just thought it would be fun to like, introduce you to what I like to watch--”

“And it was very nice to share in your interests!”

“But now I’m afraid that uh, you, er, you’ll just think of me as a pervert or something.”

“I can’t say that I haven’t thought about doing those types of things,” Asgore admitted.

“What?!” Alphys turned around quickly, noting the shy expression on his face. “You want to d-do those types of things with me?!”

“You are rather lovely, Alphys. I find myself dreaming about it often, but of course, I wouldn’t do anything unless you asked.”

“Y-yes!” Alphys blurted out. “P-please do that with me!”

Asgore looked taken aback by her outburst but composed himself quickly. “Are you sure? I’d hate for you to only want to do this because I want to--”

Alphys cut him off with a harsh kiss, lingering for a few moments before pulling away. “Asgore, I have been waiting years for this. Please take me!”

Asgore kissed her softly, letting out a sensual groan that made Alphys’s head spin. She opened her mouth decisively, darting her tongue out to lap at Asgore’s mouth to ask for entrance. He granted it, and she wasted no time in exploring the inner depths of his mouth. During her explorations she grabbed each of Asgore’s forearms, blindly manipulating them so that his hands rested on her shoulders.

She pulled away with one last kiss and gazed at Asgore’s face, pleased to note the rising flush to his fur. His breathing was haggard but his countenance was eager, willing to please her. His eyes searched hers for any signs of discomfort and, when finding none, Asgore pressed their mouths together again.

Their kisses soon turned fervent as passion took hold of them, causing their breaths to turn hot with arousal and their hands to wander over the other’s body. Alphys couldn’t help a small moan from leaving her mouth when Asgore’s large paws glided over her chest, and he looked down at her curiously. “Did that feel good?”

“I--yeah. My chest is very sensitive. H-have you ever been with…”

Asgore shook his head. “This is all new to me. I might need a visual demonstration.”

Alphys blushed heavily as she leaned back and nervously pulled her dress over her head, averting her gaze after she finished to avoid meeting Asgore’s face. God, she barely ever looked at herself naked in the mirror, and yet now she was baring herself to Asgore! What if he didn’t like what he saw? She was a far cry from the magnificence that she figured Toriel must have been; she was short and stumpy, her scales were rough--hell, she didn’t even have breasts! Asgore surely had to have been disappointed.

Asgore delicately caressed her cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb over the edges of her snout. “You look lovely, Alphys.”

“Th-thank you.”

“Do you mind if I touch you?”

“Please.”

The first touch of Asgore’s fingertips against her scales was electric, shocking her straight to the core as her body tingled with hot arousal. They trailed down her body, exploring the full length of her torso, before gliding back up to excite her more. Asgore’s hands had always seemed so coarse, callused from centuries of heavy lifting and kingdom ruling, so Alphys had been expecting his touch to be rough to her sensitive body. Instead, they were soft, smooth as satin and able to find spots on her body that she didn’t even know were erogenous. With only just a few passes of his expert touch along her body she was already gasping, trembling in his arms as she felt her entrance slicken from his ministrations. How was it that just his touch was enough to set her systems aflame?

“A-asgore,” Alphys moaned, arching her back to meet his touches. She wanted--no, needed more from him. “I-I--oh god, I need…” She cut herself off with a yelp as Asgore scooped her into his arms and stood up.

“I think a change in venue is called for, don’t you think?” He asked.

Alphys nodded eagerly and held on as Asgore walked the both of them to her bedroom, reaching out to flip on the light when he crossed the threshold. He gently placed her on the bed before going to unbutton his shirt, and Alphys took the opportunity to really get a good look at him. With each button undone she was able to see more and more of his delightfully furry chest, along with the thick muscles that she had lusted and longed after for so long. She let her gaze wander down further and felt her SOUL nearly stop when she saw the massive tent in his pants.

“Oh my god?? You’re huge!”

Asgore’s shook with amusement as he approached the bed and kneeled down in front of it. He reached out and touched her thigh, inching his fingers up until they brushed over the front of her underwear. “You can have it if you’d like, but only if you’ll allow me to pleasure you first?”

Alphys giggled into her hands. “With an offering like that, how can I refuse?”

She positioned herself in order to aid Asgore in shimmying down her panties, and she couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at his confused face. “Sorry, I-- _snrk_ \--I should’ve mentioned that, like, I only have one opening.” She drew her knees into her chest, revealing the small slit of her cloaca. “It’s just as, uh, pleasurable as a mammalian vagina, and I’m sure it can stretch to accommodate your size.”

“Oh?” Asgore’s voice was playful as he stroked along her underside. “How would you know? Have you been with someone of my size before?”

Alphys didn’t answer right now, much more focused on trying to get Asgore to touch her burning center, but every time she adjusted her hips he moved his fingers out of the way. Fucking tease. “Well, no, b-but I’m very good at making scientific guesses, and back in the Underground I had _many_ prototypes to work with.” It took Asgore a second, but he barked with laughter when he realized what she meant.

“Oh my, that’s very flattering to know! I must tell you now, while I’ve heard great feedback on that aspect of myself, my glowing reviews come from my foreplay technique.”

Alphys shook with excitement, letting Asgore maneuver her legs so that they were resting against his shoulders. “I-I think I’ll have to be the judge of that.”

Alphys watched Asgore descend down between her legs and she held back a moan as his hot breath huffed over her entrance, but it quickly came to the surface when his tongue met her body. “Holy fuck!”

Encouraged by her reaction, Asgore began to lap with enthusiasm, and between the warm, wet feel of his tongue and the loud, smacking noises he made when he pleasured her Alphys already felt herself getting close embarrassingly quick. She balled her fists into the sheets underneath her and gritted her teeth, trying to focus on anything other than giving into the pleasure just yet.  

Asgore must have known how close she was because he pulled back and nudged his finger against her entrance. As he slicked up his digit with the combination of his and her fluids he moved up to whisper into her ear. “It’s okay, my dear, you can come as many times as you’d like. I’ll be here to make sure you’re completely satisfied.”

Alphys gasped as the finger breached her entrance, feeling the familiar tingles of her impending orgasm began to gather in her gut. Her toes curled against Asgore’s back as her body began to lock up, and when he finally thrust his finger deep into her cloaca she cried out as she orgasmed hard.

Pleasure washed over Alphys in waves as she gushed around Asgore’s finger and she couldn’t stop the relieved moans from falling out of her mouth. From what she could tell Asgore seemed just as pleased, whispering praise into her ears in a tone that made her want to come again and again.

When the last aftershocks of her orgasm left her body Alphys went to remove her legs from Asgore’s shoulders, but he stopped her with a nuzzle to her cheek. “I’m not quite through with you yet, Alphys.”

O-oh.

Could this be the start of Good nights for her now?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3 feel free to bother me at my NSFW tumblr: [Sesurescue](http://Sesurescue.tumblr.com)


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